


Frayed Knot

by genericfanatic



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Minor Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Minor Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 04:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Taako's friends try to trick him into his character growth, but it takes the possibility of the world ending to actually get him there.





	Frayed Knot

It was a trap. 

Taako really should have guessed that. A nice fun Candlenights dinner with all their friends, Lup had said, guiding him to the party Magnus was hosting. 

It wasn’t with all their friends. For one, it didn’t include Ren or Killian or Carey or Avi or hell, even Angus. He had no idea where they all were, but their absence was calculated. This was a guest list with 7 people one it, or rather, 8 since Kravitz was coming. Taako guessed later they’d invited him so Taako wouldn’t be suspicious.

Taako stepped into the front door. Davenport was perched on a stool, hair greyed and grown out in his seafaring glory. Magnus and Merle were arranging food on the table, of which Taako and Lup had more of they were carrying in. 

Of which Taako nearly dropped when his eyes caught onto Lucretia.

There was instantly tension in the air as they caught each other’s eyes. Taako could feel everyone in the room watching him, preparing for how he’d react. 

He wasn’t a show for them all. He wasn’t the end of a fantasy hallmark movie. He was Taako. From TV. And he refused to be manipulated into a happily ever after. 

He clenched his teeth, turned on his heel, and left. “Taako!” Lup ran after him, grabbing his hand and pulling him back in, “Come on, why don’t we just talk about it? You can’t be angry forever.”

“Watch me!” Taako said, struggling to get out of her grip. Magnus came up and tried to pull him in too, “take the hand away, Burnsides, the only reason Lup isn’t getting blasted is twin rights, and also because she’d just come back.”

Magnus let him go, but he did close the door and stand in front of it, trapping him inside. “Come on, Taako. We’re a family. The seven of us have gone through too much to let it get torn apart.”

“We DID go through too much,” Taako said, “And the last 10 years of it were because of her!” He pointed his finger at where Lucretia was sitting. 

“Taako, please,” she said, lip wobbling, “I know….I know I hurt you. And I just...I’m sorry.”

“SORRY?” Taako said, teeth bared as he turned on her like a wild animal. “Is sorry just supposed to make everything better?!” 

Lucretia shook her head. It was strange, without his memories, Lucretia was someone he looked up to. On the ship, she was the shy nerd even he wouldn’t mess with, ‘cause it’d feel like kicking a baby bunny or something. But here she was just….pitiful. “Of course I can’t...I don’t know...I don’t know how to make things up to you--”

“Do you even know all you did to me?” Taako said, lip wobbling. “The memories you took from me? When I was little….I don’t even know my age, but I was shorter than a doorknob….my uncle locked me in a closet for misbehaving. I wouldn’t have gotten out, but Lup broke the lock and helped me get away. You took the memory of getting away so all I knew was that closet.”

“Taako…” Lup said. 

“When I was on the road, I didn’t have a bed, a home. I went hungry more often than not. I worked hard to learn all I could until I was good enough to go to the IPRE. Finally I was safe. Finally I had a place I belonged.” He felt the tears welling up. “You took that from me.”

“Alright, Taako,” Merle said, holding up his hand, but Taako waved him down.

“In that century--A whole CENTURY!--it might have been awful, but I learned so much, about the worlds, about magic….about myself. I had hated myself my whole life, but I learned how to care about people and be a good person. You. Took. That. From. Me.”

The room was uncomfortably silent. Every word from Taako’s mouth seemed to hit like magic missiles, and Lucretia just sat their and took the damage. She didn’t cringe or look shy, but he could see she was crying too. “Did you even think about the monster you released on the world, trying to counteract the one we made together. I killed people. A lot of people. I don’t have the morals of Lup or Barry or Magnus. If Magnus and Merle hadn’t found me who knows what I would have become?!” 

“Alright,” Davenport said, sounding like the captain they all remembered, “Everyone just settle down so we can talk about this peacefully.”

“I can’t believe you’re not more angry than I am, Captain,” Taako spat, his anger turning on the gnome, “Ten years she kept you by her side like….like some sort of fool. She took your whole LIFE away, man, until all you could say was your own damn name like some kind of pokemon!” 

Davenport actually looked struck by that, not having anything to say. “And you, Lup,” He said to his sister who was still holding him by the arm, “You were ALONE. In an UMBRELLA. A decade went by, until you were found by your own brother who couldn’t even remember your name! We could have found you sooner, would have found you eventually, if we knew who you were so we could LOOK!” 

Lup was struck as well, and she dropped her hand, eyes going blank, and Taako could practically see the memories of years and years of darkness go past her eyes. “And Barry,” He said to the man behind her, “She told us you were our enemy. She tried to ensure we didn’t talk to you, your friends. We might have tried to KILL you if we knew how yet. You were the only one who remembered, living on and off for a decade trying to re-make your own damn body! Because of HER!”

He turned to Merle, “And Merle you…” Taako started but trailed off, “Actually, Merle, come to think of it, you fucked up your own life all on your own.” Merle shrugged admitting to it.

His head whipped around to Magnus, “And what about you? She set you up for paradise living, and then you had to watch as it all crumbled around you! They could have all been fine, JULIA would have been--”

“STOP!” Magnus yelled. “Don’t talk about her,” he said, but Taako knew the blow had already landed, it didn’t matter.

Taako took a breath and swallowed. “You want to go on being a lovey dovey family and look past all the SHIT she’s done,” He said, “But I won’t. I’m not going to do anything about it, but that’s as far as my forgiveness goes. I’ll just leave you be.” He stretched. “It’s a big plane. We don’t have to see each other ever again, as far as I’m concerned.”

Taako slipped past Magnus, making it out the door and leaving the room far behind. “Wait,” he heard, and actually looked to see Kravitz following him. “Come on, I’ll portal us home.”

“Did you know about this?” Taako demanded. Kravitz shook his head. “Alright then, fine. Take me home.” 

Kravitz summoned his scythe and cloak, wrapping Taako in the latter as he made a doorway home for them. 

Kravitz clung to him, guiding him over to a couch. “You never told me,” Kravitz said, stroking Taako’s hair, “About all of that before.”

He sniffed, “Lucretia didn’t know,” he said, “So she couldn’t have fed it to the voidfish.” He sniffed again, tears dangerously close to falling. “No one knew.” 

The hair stroking turned into more of a back stroking, Kravitz holding him close. “Do you think I should forgive her?”

Kravitz took a deep sigh. “I don’t know,” he said.

Taako thumped his head against his chest, “Don’t be wishy washy.”

“I mean it, I really don’t,” Kravitz said. “You’ve gone through so much, but…” He lifted Taako’s chin to face him, “I think you’re wrong on one count. I don’t think you’re a bad person.”

Taako’s whole body flinched. “You didn’t know me…” He said, sniffling, “When we were young...Lup was the moral focus, I was the one who’d lie or talk my way out or something. I didn’t care like she did. I didn’t HAVE to, she could do it for me. And then,” His breath hitched and he took a second to try and breath, “and then...I was alone…..no heart. No moral center, it was all just me. No happy memories. I just. 40 people, Krav….”

“It wasn’t you,” Kravitz said, “You didn’t know. It wasn’t you.”

“Does it matter?” He snapped, “I killed others. In Cold blood, warm blood...any kind of blood they had. I manipulated a guy into doing whatever I wanted and hardly let him go. I just. I hate this.” He didn’t know what he meant, but it didn’t matter as Kravitz wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly. 

“I’ve killed people too, you know,” Kravitz said, “A lot. And I took Merle’s arm.”

“He got a new one, he’s fine,” Taako protested. 

Kravitz chuckled and then pressed a kiss to Taako’s head, pushing the wizard hat back. “What I’m trying to say is good and evil isn’t a sliding scale, love. Not for you, and not for her. A thing can be good and evil at the same time. It’s very confusing.”

Taako frowned, “Yeah, I don’t get it.”

Kravitz kissed his head again, “you don’t have to tonight, love. Why don’t you get some rest. We don’t have to worry about this anymore tonight.”

Taako greatly doubted this would stop his worrying, but he tried for Kravitz. Got dressed for bed, ate, drank water, all the healthy things, before collapsing on the bed. Fuck meditaiton, he wanted proper sleep. 

He didn’t know what he was dreaming about, but it was deffo weird and filled him with anxious dread. He wasn’t sure what woke him up. Kravitz was still asleep beside him, and Taako was feeling the need for extra love. Kravitz wouldn’t mind, he didn’t really need to sleep anyway. Besides, healthy relationships were all about trying to communicate and ask for help and shit, right? 

“Krav,” Taako said, knocking into him slightly, “Kravitz, wake up.” Kravitz didn’t move. He didn’t even roll over or make any noise. “Krav?”

“He won’t wake up,” A voice said in the corner of the room. Taako jumped turning on her. “Sorry, that sounded ominous. He’s just frozen right now. He’ll be fine.” 

Taako groaned. “Istus, unfreeze my boyfriend please.”

“I will, I will,” She said, going back to her needlework. What she was making he couldn’t tell, it was too intricate. “But I’ve got an assignment for you.”

Taako fell back on his bed and groaned, “Can it wait ‘til tomorrow? ‘Cha boy’s had a rough day.”

“I’m afraid it can’t,” She said, needlework moving faster, “By tomorrow most of time and space will very possibly have splintered away.”

That caught Taako’s attention, sitting straight up. “Aw, Come on, Izzy, I just saved the whole friggin universe or whatever, like a little bit ago. Isn’t that enough for a lifetime off?”

Istus lifted up a thread that was messily knotted, wisps of threads coming off. “Frayed Knot,” she said, “Geddit?”

Taako sighed. “Alright, that was pretty good, not gonna lie.” He got out of bed, stretching, since this was apparently a thing that was happening. “So, what, we gettin the band back together? Cause if you and Merle get into a pun war, I’m outtie.” 

“Merle and Magnus aren’t coming on this one, Taako,” She said, “It’s just you.”

“Goin’ Solo, huh? Nice, you def picked the right one.”

“Maybe I should say that differently,” She said, “You’re the only one who CAN do it.”

Taako was going to say something flippant and funny, but whatever joke he had died on his lips as Istus laid out the tapestry she’d been weaving.

On the tapestry was a large picture of Lucretia.

Taako’s jaw went rigid, looking into the woman’s woven eyes. “Did Lup pay you to do this?” He said, “Or, I dunno, she’s tight with the Raven Queen, right, did she have RQ pay you to do this?”

“Currency is fairly insubstantial on the celestial plane, Taako,” Istus said, the tapestry resting on her lap, “But more to the point, no, Taako, this isn’t some scheme to get you and Lucretia in the same room. This is a very serious task that I am calling you in for as my emmissary. Lucretia is meddling with powers outside of her control.”

“Again?” Taako said, rolling his eyes, “Sheesh, you’d think she’d learn. So what, you want me to kill her? Because I’m not UNwilling, but I need like, a permission slip in writing that said I was doing it ‘cause you told me.” The words were actually harder to say than he thought. He didn’t...he didn’t really want to kill Lucretia if she could help it. But also…

“If it’s necessary,” she said, “I suppose I could. But I don’t think it is. That’s why I’m sending you.”

“You’re sending me to NOT kill someone?” Taako said, “Homie have you been paying attention, that’s not really my style.”

Istus’ smile looked almost sad. “Fate says you’re the one who can stop her. And I’m fate, so,” She lifted the tapestry up, “In ya go.”

Taako looked between her and the tapestry. He reached forward to touch it, “What, is this some kind of magic carpet deal or--AAAUGH!” He was not proud of the screech he just made, but he wasn’t expecting the carpet to freakin VORE him, sucking him into the image itself.

Back in the room, Istus unfroze time. Kravitz stirred in his bed as Taako’s weight and warmth had been removed. Istus tucked a little throw pillow she’d made next to him, and he smiled, drifting back off into slumber. 

Taako landed with a hard ‘THUMP’ on a wooden floor. “Jeezy Chreezy, you can’t trust Gods with anything.”

“Taako?” Lucretia’s voice pulled him back to himself. He looked around. He was in a nice moderate living space covered in books, so it must have been Lucretia’s. Her room always looked more like a library than anything. 

Behind her he was able to recognize a very complicated chart and….the time chalice. Of course. “Thought you destroyed that.”

Lucretia winced, “It’s complicated.”

“Doesn’t look THAT complicated,” Taako said, “You got my stone stuffed away somewhere too?”

“Look, Taako, I know what this looks like--”

“It looks pretty fucking bad,” Taako said. “Especially as your ass got a hit called out on you by a friggin Goddess, so. Pretty bad.”

Lucretia blinked rapidly, and he could see her putting puzzle pieces together in her head. Honestly, she could put Angus to shame sometimes, if she wanted. She’d always been quiet but her brain worked fast. “Istus sent you?”

“Yuppers,” Taako said, “So like, Stop, I guess. Ok? Ok.”

“I--” She swallowed, “I don’t...Look, I just want to fix things, ok?”

“Yeah, you tried that once already,” Taako said, “ And it worked out so fucking great, so, maybe we STOP trying to mess with stuff?”

Lucretia was looking between Taako and the chalice. “You know more than anyone the mistakes I’ve made, Taako,” She said, “I just want to fix it.”

“That’s what you said last time,” Taako said, “Now hand over the Chalice, and I won’t say anything to the others. It’ll be easy as I don’t plan on acknowledging your existence ever again.”

Lucretia’s eyes were darting now. He saw what she was about to do just before she did it, which gave him time to rush forward and grab her arm just as her hand closed around the chalice. 

For the second time in way-too-short-a-time, Taako found himself being sucked into an inanimate object. He didn’t land hard on the floor this time, though, because there was no floor. 

Taako ended up on the starblaster, though it was very clearly not the real starblaster. He was floating in it, like there was no gravity until he focused on setting his feet down. It didn’t smell like the starblaster, there weren’t the sounds of the bond engine, there was...nothing. They were on the deck, and he saw Lucretia looked through the window. “What is this?” she asked, watching the array of images pass by. “Where are we?”

“If I had to take a shot,” Taako said, releasing her arm with a huff, “I’d say we’re inside the Chalice. A-freaking-gain, hell.”

“You’d be right,” A familiar voice said. They watched the pilots chair turn to face them, and Davenport sat in his space. “Welcome back, Taako.”

Lucretia frowned, “The chalice...talks?” she said, “Taako, you didn’t mention--”

“We’re not going to be talking about who’s keeping secrets from who, mk?” he said, “Anyway, Chalice appears, gives you an offer, and you don’t take it or I’ll have to kill you.”

“Are you sure?” Not-Davenport---Not’n’port---said, “you don’t even know what she’s changing.”

“Oh really?” Taako said, “I know her better than everyone except like, 5 others. Or I knew her, anyway. She’s off feeling guilty and sad ‘cause I yelled at her, but guess what? I get the right to yell. And you have to live with your mistake, you--”

The screen before them flickered and they turned to see. The stream of images slowed, focusing on a young Lucretia, on the day….Taako knew that day. She was sad, the single year they’d spent on this planet hard on her as it was with the others. She stood in front of Fisher’s tank, feeding him books and records and everything she had. Magnus walked in the room, “Lucretia what are you--”

“Lets skip ahead, shall we?” Not’n’port said, picking up a remote that came out of nowhere and the image before them fast forwarded through Magnus falling, memory gone, Lucretia casting sleep on him to put him aside until later, going to find Merle and Davenport, putting them to sleep as well. The image showed only a glimpse of Lucretia’s face as she realized what she’d done to Davenport. 

The image finally slowed to show Taako, bent over the railing. “Taako?” Lucretia asked. 

“I…” Taako stuttered, mouth agape.

“Oh no, Taako,” Lucretia said, stepping forward, “Not you too, I didn’t think you’d--”

“I killed someone,” He said, voice barely louder than a whisper. The real Taako in the present flinched at how vulnerable and scared he sounded. He had resolved to never show his weakness like that since he was a child. “I...there was a man...I think I killed him, I don’t even know who he was….” Taako was hyperventilating. 

Lucretia ran towards the edge, looking over, but not seeing any figures. “Barry?” Lucretia asked, “Taako, did you kill Barry?!” 

“Is that who that was?” Taako said, “I didn’t know, I...I was just standing here talking to...to someone….I don’t remember what I was doing, I just…” He finally turned to her, giving her his attention, “Who are you? And...and how do you know my name?” He took a step back from her, “Where are we? What’s going--” And then Lucretia cast sleep on him.

The images faded back into the background, a swirling stream. Taako felt himself tense, like a statue. “Taako, I…” Lucretia started, but Taako just shook his head. 

“Don’t.” He said, “Don’t bother,” He took a shuddered sigh, “It’s too late. 10 years, Lucretia, you had TEN years to try and make things better--”

“I tried!”

“You failed.” He said, snarling, “You had good intentions, cool motivations, but its still terrible, so. Fuck you.” He finally turned on her, “I know you’re not evil, but that’s as much mercy as I can give you. We’ve gone too far for you to undo this. What about Merle’s kids, or all the people at your precious bureau, or hell, the Hunger! You can’t just go messing with all that!”

“I know, but--” Lucretia started, but he steamrolled her.

“But nothing! You were the one to say all these things are evil and should never be used, it’s the fucking Genie in the bottle, you can’t have the Benny’s without getting the cons!” 

“I wasn’t trying to change that!” She raised her voice, motioning at the screen and finally cutting Taako off. She stared him down until he settled down just slightly under her stare, “I’m...I’m SORRY about what happened, but I can’t change it. You’re right, I know, there’s too much there. I wish…” She swallowed and took a deep breath, “But I can’t. And I won’t. In the end, it worked out nearly as well as it could, except…”

“Except what?”

Lucretia sighed. She turned to the swirling images, and then to Not’n’port. She nodded at him, and he fast forwarded again, all the way forward…..all the way to last night.

Taako recognized the scene as he saw himself slam the door shut behind him. The remaining occupants were left in silence, staring at the door. “I--” Kravitz started, “I should go make sure he’s okay.” And with that he was out the door too, leaving the 6 birds in silence.

Lucretia melted into her seat. “He’s right,” She said softly, but it was so quiet they all heard her, “what I did to you all….it’s unforgivable.”

“And yet here we are forgiving you anyway,” Lup said, smirking. Lucretia frowned a bit, opening her mouth to argue, “Upupup! There’s been enough self blaming around here. We’re past it all now, it’s not the time for who did what. It’s time to start healing.”

Lucretia swallowed, clutching her arms close to herself. “You can’t tell me you’re ok with...with everything that’s happened.”

Lup got up and pulled her chair up beside her friends. “No,” She said, “But a lot of that was my fault. I did stupid stuff without telling people either, and I got killed and stuffed in an umbrella because of it.” she looked at her hands, “Hell, if I didn’t have twin rights, Taako would be just as mad at me as he is with you.”

“Stop that,” Barry said, coming over to hold her shoulder, “You did what you thought you had to. I wasn’t happy with it, but I understand. I’m just glad to have you back.” He looked over to Lucretia. “That goes for you too.”

Lup smiled and held Barry’s hand, “See?” she said to Lucretia, “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Lucretia turned to Davenport, “It has to matter to you,” She said, “I don’t...I can’t even begin--”

“You kept me safe,” He said, “When I was at my most vulnerable, you kept me safe by your side. I don’t regret it.” 

Lucretia smiled, bowing her head a little at him in respect. Her eyes flickered to Magnus, “Don’t even try,” Magnus said, “I’ve lost a lot, but that wasn’t you. I don’t approve what you did, but…” He took a deep sigh, “But I never would have had Julia in the first place, with the memories in my head. I had the chance to change things once. I didn’t do it then, and I won’t now.”

Lucretia’s eyes glinted with something, an idea. “Taako….wasn’t much like he was on the starblaster,” Merle said, sitting back with a drink in his hands, “I mean, comparatively, same guy, but...he didn’t care much about any people. He wasn’t...he didn’t let anyone in.” He sighed, “I mean, to be fair, we were all kind of messes, but Taako….”

“He...doesn’t think of himself as a good person,” Magnus picked up, “It makes it easier for him to do bad things. Because he’s like, dedicated to it, you know?”

Lucretia bit her lip “I remember,” she said, “When you all arrived, and he just...said he was able to take the gauntlet because he was a dumbass. But he didn’t…”

“He’s never had a high opinion of himself,” Lup said, clutching her arms to herself, “He...It was hard when we were kids, to think you were worth anything.” Barry squeezed her shoulder, and she smiled at him, “I pushed past it. It was a lot of work. I thought Taako had too, but…” She sighed and hung her head. “I’m really honestly not blaming you, Lucretia, but losing his memory set him back pretty far on that.”

“Give him time,” Davenport said, “He’s doing well now, honestly, with the school and Kravitz and you all. He’ll appreciate it all in time, and maybe it will be enough for him to see himself better too.”

Lucretia nodded slowly, “I will,” she said, “I’ll give him...time…” 

The image swirled again, leaving present Taako with present Lucretia, unsure of how to feel as he watched people talk about him. “Pretty sure Cap’n’port didn’t mean LITERAL time, homie,”

“But don’t you see,” Lucretia said, “That day in Glamour springs….” He actively flinched, “I can fix it Taako. I can fix it for you and you won’t….you won’t think of yourself that way.”

Taako blinked at her repeatedly, trying to understand. Before long he burst out laughing, laughing so hard he had to clutch his stomach, “You were...going to destroy all of space time to help my self ESTEEM?!” He said, laughing. 

Lucretia didn’t laugh. She looked at him through pursed lips, “Well, saving 40 lives as well,” she said, “But that’s the whole point, I’m going to do just this one thing, just this one, and it won’t make up for everything but...but it can help you,” She said. 

Taako only laughed louder, “This is how you’re going to get me to forgive you?” His laughter had turned into a weird gasping sound, “By fucking up the god damn timeline?!”

“It’s a small change in the vast realm of the universe,” Lucretia said, “I’m not changing a massive fate, just in your timeline.”

“Yeah, and 40+ others!” Taako said, recovering from his laughter, “You...what if one of those people ends up being fantasy hitler or something!”

“You know that’s unlikely,” she said.

“I also know there are too many variables for you to account for!” Taako said, “You don’t get to decide people’s fates anymore. ESPECIALLY not mine! And if you think this kind action is going to make me THANK you or something--”

“I don’t give a FUCK if you forgive me!” Lucretia yelled at him, getting into his face, “You hear me? I regret things went down the way they did, but that doesn’t mean I regret doing them. I did the best I could for this entire plane, so I don’t fucking CARE if you’re too butthurt about your memories if it saves THOUSANDS, maybe MILLIONS, of lives by stopping the relic wars.” 

Taako was, and this was rare for him, speechless. Any trace of humor on him was gone. 

There had been something….oddly comforting about hating Lucretia. So rare was he the morally superior one. So rare were others emotionally indebted to him. There was a sadistic pleasure in seeing how hurt Lucretia had been, how remorseful...and even more when he turned that remorse aside. It was powerful, and it was ugly, but so was he. 

To hear it had been more of a ruse...that she wasn’t really sorry...it took that power away from him, leaving him just as small and vulnerable as he’d been in that memory. 

“What do you want?” He snarled, wondering what he could hit her with in a fight. Could he do combat in a chalice? How would that even work.

Lucretia took a deep breath. “I want to help you,” She said, “I want to help with the way YOU see YOU. I care about you so much, Taako…” Her voice fell out of her a bit, and she really did seem as old as she looked. “You’re like a brother to me too. Or you were once. One way or the other we were family. And I see you tearing yourself apart, tearing yourself down.” She put hands on his shoulders, “I want to help. I want to take this burden off you, because...because I don’t know what else to do.”

He stayed stiff, staring down at her. After a moment, she released him backing away and turning from him. Not’n’port just watched. 

Taako collapsed in his chair, slowly, so it didn’t look like he was collapsing. A controlled fall. That’s what his life always felt like. Always running downhill, and he couldn’t stop it, but he could try and direct it a little. “You know,” he said, “Most people start with a ‘get better’ card or something,” he said, “Just as like. Food for thought.”

Lucretia actually chuckled slightly, “You’re not just anyone,” she said with a smile he could just barely see, “You’re Taako. From TV.”

“You know it,” He said, and it almost felt normal, like they were on the real starblaster, joking around among the sorrow. “You can’t do it, Lucretia.”

She sighed, “I know about the affects to the timeline, But I’ve been working hard and I can account for it if--”

“You can’t,” Taako said, “Forget the 40 people, forget Sazed, forget all that. If that didn’t happen if I didn’t…” He swallowed, “If I didn’t...absolutely hate myself after Glamour Springs...I wouldn’t have left Sizzle it Up. I wouldn’t have met up with Magnus and Merle, and I wouldn’t have joined the Bureau of Balance. Don’t you see?” He said, slumping forward in his chair, “The fate of the universe depends on me believing I had nowhere else to go.”

Lucretia looked crestfallen, and Taako didn’t have it in him to be happy at that anymore. She slumped in the seat in front of him. “What do we do now?”

“I dunno,” He said softly. “I suggest we get out of here, though. Assuming you still don’t want to tear time and space apart for a useless gesture?”

Lucretia nodded, turning to Not’n’port, who hit a switch on his remote. Before they dissolved, the images passing the screen slowed a bit...showing Lucretia’s memories of happier times. The time Taako splashed her while she was trying to read on the beach. The time she followed him around recording his every movement, to the point it annoyed him, and he yelled, and she nearly cried, and so he hugged her and said to record as much as she wanted. The time she tried to help him make a recipe book based on all the places they’d been to. 

The ship faded away, and they were back in Lucretia’s room. “I just wanted to help,” she said so low it took his elven ears to hear. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t forgive me, I just wanted….”

“Don’t go forcing your character growth on me, homeslice,” Taako said, “I’m just doing me. And that means I can hate myself as much as I want until I decide different.”

Lucretia flinched, “Alright,” She said, “I’m...I’m sorry Taako.”

“You’re sounding like a broken record at this point,” Taako said, and it was almost like teasing her. Almost.

“No,” Lucretia said, “I mean, I’m sorry I just...I was thinking of myself. What I wanted. I wanted you to be happy because I cared about you. I thought I was helping, being selfless, but…” She grabbed the short white curls of her hair, “It’s all just so twisted.” 

Taako took a deep sigh. He should leave. His business was done, world saved again, Wahoo, and he had a boyfriend back home he wanted to snuggle. 

Instead he slumped. “I’m...sorry too,” He said, and he’d never seen her look so genuinely surprised. “I was taking the self hatred and stuff out on you. Don’t get me wrong, you deserved some of it,” His words were sharp, and she nodded in agreement, “But, maybe...JUST maybe, not all.” He ran his hands through his own hair, he was so tired. “Look, I don’t know if I can ever fully forgive, and I’m CERTAINLY not going to forget,” He said, “Things...can’t go back to the way they were. They just can’t. Time flowing and all that shit.” 

“I understand,” She said.

“BUT,” he said, cutting her off before she could think or say anymore, “if you want to come to the same dinner party as me, next time I won’t like, throw a hissy fit, I guess. 

Lucretia was smiling so big, it hurt Taako’s heart. Like, she was actually tearing up. “Thank you,” She said. 

Taako shuffled embarrassed, “Alright, no need to go shedding tears, I mean it’s literally the bare minimum so--”

“Can I hug you?” She asked, cutting him off. Taako gaped, “I mean, I understand if you’re not there yet--or ever!--but if you were open….”

Taako said, “Get over here, nerd. Let’s Fantasy Hallmark it up.”

She encapsulated him so fast it made his head spin. He was reminded of the girl who went on their IPRE missions, the shy little bunny rabbit who he thought he had to protect.

Taako would never admit it, but he was smiling as he felt another sliver of his shattered heart slip back into place.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why the time chalice is still around, it just is. Also, I don't really think Lucretia would use it even if it was, but it worked for the premise.


End file.
